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August 27, 2015

Original Song

Beauty of The Pain
By Maya


Verse 1
Sitting here alone, in the middle of the night
Thinking hard about life, why this heart feels so tight
Many questions are running on my mind
Asking what, why, how, when, this pain I can leave behind

Reff:
And I remember, it’s a long long journey
So I will stand up again again again
Cause I believe, everything happened for a reason
To make me see and understand the beauty of the pain

Verse 2
Sometimes I wonder why the worst life is always mine
And other people’s lives looks easier and just fine
Maybe it’s about dancing in the rain
I have to find my way to break every chain

Bridge:
Sometimes you have to make it right
And don’t lose your fight
Even when you have to stand alone
Thrown with a stone
The lesson is feel the pain
And you will gain the strength







August 03, 2015

The Strongest Woman





They said: 'You never know how strong you are, 
until being strong is the only choice you have.
Fall down 99 times, stand up 100 times'.

But, personally, I never had a chance to see with my own eyes 
what is the worst thing that ever happen to someone 
that can make me see how that words above works.

And, your life is like a movie 
and I am the one who watching you get up and get up again.

Now, I can say:
You are the strongest woman I have ever known in my life. 
You are the one who loves beyond all faults. 
You are the one who cries behind closed doors. 
You are the one who is able to smile this morning like you were not crying last night.
You are the one that fights battles that nobody knows about. 
You are someone who shows no weakness in front of people. 
You win battles that maybe even me, I can't guarantee to be able to do that. 

With you, I can experience what Bible say:

Love your enemies, 
bless them that curse you, 
do good to them that hate you, 
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

This verse, is the hardest thing to do, even for the people who talk about 'The Light'
I saw with my own eyes, they curse who curse them.
They stuck in hate in their hearts, and try to cover it with their prayers.

And you, you don't tell 'The Secret' to anyone to support you.
You just ask a little request to one person: 'Can you hug me, so I can feel better?'
I just love you,
I am proud to know you,
and I am grateful to have you in my life.

July 14, 2015

Help Me with Temper




Dear Lord,

Help me with temper.
Remove the stress and anger in my heart.
Give me the wisdom to handle the things that irritate me 
and instruction to handle situations that I am low-tolerate of.

I hold a lot on the inside because I struggle with verbally communicating my thoughts and feelings.
The weight on my heart is heavy.

The pain, hurt, and regrets carries over to my attitude causing me to treat others unkindly, short-tempered and abusive with my words.

Please help me to gain self-control, 
to ignore ignorance and to master the areas I'm weakest at.

I exchange my burdens for your peace.
In Jesus' name.

Amen!



@InstaGodMinistries

June 10, 2015

Release Over My Life



Dear Lord,

I open up my hands and my heart to you.
I choose to release every spiritual stronghold,
I choose to release every physical pain,
and I choose to release every emotional pain from my past.

I've walked around with the weight of my problems long enough.
I speak a release over my life.
Nothing will keep me from my best.

Search my heart O God.
Show me where I need to make adjustments to make room for you.
In Jesus' name.

Amen!



@InstaGodMinistries

May 10, 2015

10 Things You Should Never Say



Happy World Lupus Month
I hope that the more people know about Lupus, the more people can get tested, and the more people can get helped quickly. I don't know Lupus better than you, but I just want to share what I knew and what I experienced with Lupus suffer. I did mention this 10 things to someone suffer from Lupus, and I just want you to not do the same thing. And maybe, somehow, it can helps you to understand your friend or family who suffers from Lupus. My purpose is to bring the knowledge so we can understand them (Lupus Suffer) better. That's all they need. 

Here, 10 things that you have to think twice or maybe better to not mention to people who suffer with Lupus:

1. It's all about your mind. If you think you are sick, then you'll be sick. Try to be more positive about your self.
The sickness is in their blood. In their immune system. Even they have the most positive mind, it doesn't change their condition with lupus. 

2. My best friends cousin has Lupus and she's doing great or my best friend's cousin passed away from Lupus.
Lupus is a chronic desease. It affects everyone differently. And you cannot compare one to another. They are dying everyday. They are fighting everytime. The thought to die one day because of this disease is the worst thing. So, it's better to not mention that.

3. But you don't look sick, so it can't be that bad.
This is the most frustrating comment for the people with Lupus. They feel the pain so real in their body but people cannot see the pain. 

4. Maybe you have to do more exercise so you're not always feeling sick.
They are sick. That's the only reason why they always feeling sick. Nothing to do with exercise. Even minimal activity can cause flare up.

5. You're over exaggerating. It could be a lot worse.
The pain is unbearable for people who suffer with Lupus. Please, believe then when they said they are in pain and sick. They just try to explain what they feel. That's it.

6. You don't get out enough
Do you know the sun is dangerous for people with Lupus? They are not allowed in the sun. Some medication forbid them to be in the sun. The sun causes flare-up and condition to worsen.

7. You don't believe how tired I am
People with Lupus always feeling tired. They can't even do what they plan because this sicken so unpredictable. In knowing that Lupus is unpredictable may help other people understand their physical and emotional ups and downs as well as the changes that they may have to make to schedules, plans, and commitments.

8. Have you lost/gained weight? 
One drug called Prednisolone can puts pounds on for no reason. Some people with Lupus are getting so much weight because of this medicine. But they have no choice than taking this drug over years.

9. You have so many bruises. Is everything ok?
Yes, they are trying to be ok. Many of them take medications that cause skin to thin, which allows for easy bruising.

10. What's that on your face?
Some people with Lupus got skin rashes. The most common is the butterfly-shaped rash that appears on the faces. If you do know about Lupus, sure, you can wonder what it is. But, don't you dare ask about it. Even if it wasn't a mark of Lupus, that is a personal question that shouldn't be asked. Especially if you don't know the person very well.



Source:
http://mommieandwee.org

April 25, 2015

Kasih yang Sejati



Bagi saya, kasih yang sejati adalah kasih yang tidak ada ketakutan di dalamnya. 

Tidak takut ditinggalkan.

Tidak takut disakiti.

Tidak takut dikecewakan.

Karena ketika kasih itu benar-benar sejati, 
ia tidak memberi ruang untuk hal apapun 
selain terus mengasihi dan mengasihi.

Realita saat ini membuat dunia semakin ragu akan kekuatan kasih yang sejati.

Namun, percayalah bahwa kasih itu masih ada di dalam keyakinan akan perubahan yang lebih baik.

Kuasa cinta selalu ada dan terbukti mampu mengubahkan yang telah rusak dan mendamaikan yang berseteru.

March 27, 2015

29: Thank you OMA


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAYA.


THANK YOU OMA, I CELEBRATE YOU

My grandmother passed away (March 17), less than 2 weeks before my 29th birthday. She was suffering from severe liver failure since December last year. Her condition deteriorated but I got a chance to meet her. I had 10 days to see her in her last two weeks journey on earth and I am grateful for that. I didn't have money to purchase the ticket, but once again, God make a way for me to see my grandmother. A beautiful couple lent the money for my ticket and all things just went well.

My dad picked me up from the airport. Straight after we had lunch, me and Sandra went to the hospital to see Oma (That's how I called my grandmather). I still remembered how she shouted my name and spread her arms for me. She gave me her magic warm hug and I captured that moment and put that memory in my heart forever. The day after that, my grandmother' condition became worst and that day was the last time she can recognise any person who visited her.

First few days, it was terrible feeling to be there with my grandmother. She was in so much pain. She screamed all day and all the time. People came and pray for her, while she was suffering. What kind of pain, I couldn't even imagine what's going on. Try to ask some questions to the nurses, but they know nothing about my grandmother sickness. They told me, the specialist still in his holiday and they don't know when he will come back. There is no proper report about my grandmother's condition. I felt so terrible because I couldn't help her anything. My dad said that there is no hope for my grandmother, that we just wait and be ready when God calls her home. I was crying and I could feel the heaviness in my throat become stronger than ever. I couldn't say a word. 

One morning, just me and my grandmother, in that empty room at the hospital, I felt so much love in my heart. I could feel heavenly presence in the room where my oma stayed. I hold her hands tightly, while looking at those beautiful and strong hands that raised me. And I started to sing her old favourite church songs from Kidung Jemaat. I could not hold my tears while singing with her to our Heavenly Father. 

It is a nostalgic feeling. Most precious moment with Oma rushed through my mind. I could remember when little Maya followed Oma for Kebaktian Rumah Tangga (Bible Study from house to house) twice a week. Holding tightly Oma's hand with a joyfull heart, humming our favourite songs all the way and saying hi to everyone. Sometimes helping Oma to find a perfect songs to suit her Bible reflection. I have always put nice dresses and bring my own little Bible with colourful cover on it. Feeling so proud walking side by side with Oma to serve the Lord.

I could remember how proud Oma was every time I sang at the church. When I sang, it felt like Oma was the only audience I have. I did not feel scare or nervous at all. So much confident for a little girl. She always proud of me, no one could mess with me. I still remember, one day at school, a little boy named Yohanes kicked me at my back for no reason. When I told Oma after school, she was listening but no words came out from her mouth. Little I knew, she had planned for the next day to have a visit to my school. She brought lots of different cakes for all my teacher. While all teachers enjoyed the cakes, Oma went looked for Yohanes. Oma came and asked all the kids which one was Yohanes, and Yohanes raised his hands. Oma smiled and walked to approach him and pulled his ears toward his mouth. Well, that was the last time I ever told Oma about school's problem related to other kids who bullied or hurt me.

Oma is a hero for little Maya in overcoming her difficulties and challenging childhood. Oma is the reason why little Maya has so much faith, courage, and confident. Oma shaped a strong foundation in my soul that still stands until now. I told Oma those stories and how much she meant for me while she was sleeping. Those two weeks have gone so fast, and that's how I spent every day with Oma. I sang so many her favourite Christian songs (mine too) when I stopped singing from one song to another, a flashback of memory I have with Oma, I told her how I remember a specific song with a memory attached to it. Memory I hold dearly in my heart. I told Oma every day, how she meant to me, how I love her and how I will never forget her, and that’s okay if she wants to leave and be at peace with God, I understand. I told Oma, how sorry I am to not be able to make her happy and if I ever hurt her heart in any ways, I am so sorry.

On 16th March 2015, I spent almost a whole day at the hospital and leaved around 9pm. I told her that I need to pack my stuff and be ready for leaving tomorrow morning but I promised her to come back and see her before I was leaving to the airport. Oma seemed understand in knowingly of what would happened. On the early morning of the next day, the 17th March around 4am, Oma left us to be with her Lord. I got phone call about 5am and I knew something was not right. I quickly had a shower, me and Ka Sandra drove to see Oma. When I arrived, I went to see Oma laying on the bed. She smiled and at peace. I touched her hands, it’s still warm like she was asleep. I told Oma, thank you for her life, thank you for her love, thank you for always holding my hands and my heart, thank you for being my biggest supporter, thank you for believing in me, thank you for seeing only the best in me and installing that believe that I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. What a life OMA JANE, until we meet again!!














March 10, 2015

H.O.P.E



H O L D
O N
P A I N
E N D S

or

H A V E 
O N L Y 
P O S I T I V E
E X P E C T A T I O N




Momen: 
Pulang ke Kupang untuk melihat oma yang sedang terbaring sakit selama 3 bulan.
Semua perasaan bercampur aduk dalam hati.
Berharap oma bisa sembuh.
Berharap bisa bertemu oma, sebelum oma pulang ke rumah Bapa di surga.
Berharap bisa mendapatkan kesempatan untuk mengungkapkan isi hati terdalam.


February 23, 2015

Look Up




Truly I tell you, 
if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, 
you can say to this mountain, 
'Move from here to there,' and it will move. 

Nothing will be impossible for you. 

- Matthew 17:20-21 -



I am thinking about true prayer. 
If I am to spend time and energy praying that families, friends, and colleagues become spiritually alive.
I need faith, even as small as a mustard seed: 
Faith in our God who answers prayer, 
and trust that my prayers will make a difference. 

I need to know that this 'prayer project' has approval from 'heavenly places' and is totally aligned with God's mission. 

I need to believe that 
'they' are not beyond God's power to save.

I need to always remember, 
God loves them more than I could love them.

I cannot always find a way to their heart, 
but God is always able to touch them.

But, beyond on my best wishes for them, 
God knows the best for everyone, 
and I trust His heart.




Melbourne: 
Feb 23, 2015







February 14, 2015

F.R.I.E.N.D.S




F:   Fight for you
R:  Respect you
I:   Include you
E:  Encourage you
N:  Need you
D:  Deserve you
S:   Stand by you


Be a Friend.
Find a Friend.


Taken from Instagram @bradscotjohnson