PREVENT - Choosing a Life Partner

Today, i read an email from one of my best friend (kezzy), and i want to share this one in my blog, especially for single ladies out there.. Keep doing 'PREVENT'..

The best preparation for marriage is first to BE the right kind of person. You can start working on this area, even before anybody special comes along. Most young people who rush into a steady relationship are insecure, and do not want to make the effort of getting to know many other young men/women. Because they lack confidence in their ability to carry on a conversation, or to meet others, they may choose a steady relationship to cover up their inadequacies. 

So first, learn to like yourself: 
If you are carrying a burden of past failures, rejections and embarrassing events, let them go, and start living again.
Make a list of your strengths & weaknesses, and look at ways you can overcome the weaknesses.
Never compare yourself with others – you are not competing with anybody else in the world.
Give of yourself to others (Remember the Random Acts of Kindness club).
Ask God to make something beautiful out of your life.
When someone special does come along, increase the personal prayer and devotional time. God is even more interested in this friendship and your happiness than you are!

   Marriage is for life, for better or for worse. There is nothing temporary or seasonal in it. Selecting a marriage partner is a permanent decision, a choice that “affects the after life both in this world and in the world to come.” The Ministry of Healing, p.359. Yet a number of individuals select a life companion with less thought than they use in selecting a house or a vehicle. They do not know what characteristics are needed for a successful family. They are ignorant of the enduring qualities so essential for a happy home.

Before choosing a life companion both the man and the woman should ask themselves all ten of those questions:

   Does he (she) have a good character?

A weak character can never make a strong companion. Cheating in an exam, telling little white lies, or failing to return borrowed articles may seem far removed from the question of homemaking, but a man or a woman who is careless in meeting promises, or shady in dealings, is likely to be undependable to his or her companion. How does the individual relate to his home and family – positively or negatively? Does he contribute sunshine, joy and happiness? The kind of loyalty one gives his home indicates the kind of person he is.

Of course, the supreme test of character is revealed in one’s relationship to God and to His commandments. Does he enjoy worshipping God, keep the Sabbath, attend church, take an active part in community outreach, have his private devotions, and long for Jesus to come? A person with a good character is never a bully nor boastful, neither a dictator nor a slave. He is a man of principle, a person who will do all in his power to make his marriage a success, his home a happy place to be.

   Does he (she) value good health?

It’s not enough to know that your friend is in good health at the moment, and free from disease. Does he value good health enough to protect it and keep it? The one who boasts about his late hours, unhealthy eating and his iron nerves that can stand all stresses, is probably looking for a nurse, not a wife. The woman who cannot be bothered to exercise regularly, and doesn’t care what she eats or when she eats, may need a hospital, not a home in the future. Avoid the extremes-those who are constantly talking about their aches and pains, and those who never give health a second thought. The person, who is balanced in his work, gets enough water and fresh air and sunshine, is cheerful and happy, is likely to be healthy for a long time.

   Is he (she) intelligent?

Only intelligent people should marry. One whose IQ is below 70 would not be able to carry the duties and responsibilities of a home. Equally important is the kind of discipline one gives his mind. Cheap, trashy reading weakens the mind, while good wholesome reading strengthens the mental faculties. The music one hears also has an effect on the thinking process. The books, paper and magazines one reads during his leisure hours, the pictures one sees, both still and moving, indicate the kind of person he is, “for as (s)he thinketh in his heart, so is (s)he.” (Proverbs 23:7)

   Is he (she) emotionally balanced?

Marriage does not cure mental disorders. One who is emotionally disturbed is in no condition to marry. But how can anyone tell whether someone is emotionally unbalanced or not? The answer is much simpler than many suppose at first. Let’s look at some of the signs:

Good signs: he (she) is happy. The cheerful, contented individual who has a smile and a pleasant word for all is a most delightful person to have in any home. Seldom does a happy person have a mental disorder.

Warning signs: avoid the person who is always gloomy, morose, moody, or easily discouraged. One who is discontented, who is constantly whining, a chronic complainer, always criticizing, is certainly a most disagreeable partner.

Good signs: he (she) has stamina, determination, endurance. Though problems may arise, he (she) stays by the job until it is finished. She (he) has a worthy goal and reaches it.

Warning signs: he (she) gives up easily or blames others for his (her) mistakes. He is easily discouraged, changes jobs frequently, begins many courses in school but drops them before completing them.

Good signs:  gets along well with others. Respectful and courteous to his (her) superiors, kind and thoughtful to those younger and pleasant to his (her) equals.

Warning signs: sensitive, suspicious, jealous, envious. Thinks the neighbors persecute him (her), the boss has it in for him (her), his (her) schoolmates do not like him (her), and the world is against him (her). Definitely avoid this person as you would the plague.

Good signs:  able to make his (her) own decisions, to think a situation through, to solve his (her) problems, to control his (her) emotions.

Warning signs:  worries a great deal, has anxiety, abnormal fears, is easily upset, becomes angry over trifles, easily led, and goes with the crowd.

Good signs:  gives major time to major items, less time to minor things. Is conscientious, sincere, is a man (woman) of principle.

Warning signs:  extremist, fanatical, overly concerned over minor matters.

   Can he (she) take responsibility?

What does he (she) do with his (her) time, his (her) money, his (her) talents now? One who can do the right thing at the right time in the right way can take responsibility. He (she) can plan his (her) work and the work his (her) plan. His (her) daily schedule reveals a balanced program of work and rest, study and recreation, of caring for his (her) personal needs and his (her) obligations to others. No one in debt is ready for marriage. Certainly before one takes on the financial obligations of a home, one must be able to live within his (her) income. The extravagant, spender, the waster, is a handicap to any marriage no matter how much money he (she) may have. One who can take responsibility improves his (her) talents and seeks thereby to help others.

   Do you love him (her)?

Mature love is interested in people and uses material things to express it. Immature love is interested in things and uses people to get them. Do you delight in making him (her) to succeed, or is your main concern to see that he (she) makes you happy, that he (she) contributes to your success? Love is from God and will draw one closer to God. Love never leads to sin, never goes contrary to a “thus saith the Lord.” According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, love suffers long, is kind, rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, while infatuation, envies, vaunts itself, is puffed up, behaves itself unseemly, seeks her own, is easily provoked, thinks evil, rejoices in iniquity and fails.

   Do you accept his (her) relatives and friends?

When the two of you become one, his (her) parents become your parents, his (her) brothers and sisters are your brothers and sisters. The children will inherit characteristics from his (her) uncle and aunt just as much as from your uncle and aunt. In one sense of the word, you do marry the family. Do you feel inferior to his (her) relatives? If you do you can never be your best as a companion in the presence of his (her) people. Do you feel superior to his (her) people? Then you can never accept your companion as an equal, for he (she) is kin to them. One is judged by the friends he (she) chooses. To reject his (her) friends is to partially reject him (her).

   Do his (her) relatives and friends accept you?

Relatives do have a right to say who shall become a member of their family. It is their duty to protect their good name and to uphold the family standards. After all, a marriage that has the acceptance and the blessing of the relatives is far more likely to succeed than the one without it.

   Do you have the same interests?

Companions need to have similar aims and interests in life.

(a)    A shared religion is important because it affects our way of life. If the paths are different, they cannot walk together. When children arrive, the problems increase.

(b)   The same race, social levels, speaking the same mother tongue, knowing the same habits and customs usually simplifies living. The relationship should be one of equality.

(c)    They should be in the same age bracket, so they can keep up with such family transitions as baby’s play going to school programs, teen-age friends, the daughter’s wedding, to baby-sitting grandchildren.

(d)   They should be companions in their career or ministry, but not competitors. A similar level of education ensures that there are plenty of thoughts and ideas to share with the partner.

   Do you want him (her) as he (she) is?

If you feel that your mission in life is to reform him (her) correct his (her) English, watch his (her) manners, and make a man (lady) out of him, you should think of adopting him(her) but not of marrying him (her)! Marriage is for adults only, for those whose habits are already formed, whose training period is in the past. Do you admire him (her) as he (she) is, and do you feel secure in his (her) presence? Does he (she) inspire you to do your best and to be your best? When you are with him (her), is it easier to be sweet, charming, noble and pure? 

Remember how to PREVENT stress? These tips will help you to be a nicer person to know and will help you in all your relationships.

P - Pray –share everything with God

R - Relaxation and sleep

E - Exercise 3-5 times a week

V - Viewpoint – attitude towards stressors

E - Eating healthfully – no harmful substances

N - Neighborly kindness

T - Time management & organization

By Archa O Dart (Former Assistant Secretary, Department of Education

General Conference of Seventh Day Adventists)

(Adapted by Dr. Carol Tasker 2008)

 

What is a Christian Artist?

I’m a double major in the visual arts and a leader in the art community on my campus so I jumped at the opportunity to join other artists for five days to explore our opportunities and challenges as art students who follow Jesus. I was curious about how my peers integrate their art and their faith. Here is what they had to say at the recent StoneWorks Arts Leadership Training Conference (SALT).

I travelled to Belhaven University in Jackson, Mississippi to attend SALT, expecting to learn more about God’s calling on my life as an artist. I was excited to meet other people who were passionate about ministering to their campuses and communities through their artwork. I wasn’t disappointed!
It was so inspiring and refreshing to see Christian artists from across the country come together. We represented many different visual and performing arts disciplines and we were all encouraged and empowered to offer our gifts in service to God.

During the conference, speaker Dr. Colin Harbinson talked about what it means to be a Christian artist and the obstacles, or “stones,” we commonly face. Three areas of struggle for many Christian artists are issues related to the church, or the artist personally, or within the culture at large. He emphasized the need to remove these “stones” so that we can be free to live up to our identity as artists. He is the International Director of Stoneworks, a global arts initiative.
I asked some of the art students at SALT about their thoughts on what it means to be artists and Christians on campus and in the world. Here are some of their responses:

What does it mean to you to be a Christian artist?
Meg, a senior at Southern Illinois University, understands the difference between the terms “Christian artist” and “Christian art.” “Someone at SALT said that the word “Christian” is not an adjective; it’s a noun. “Christian” doesn’t describe the art, it’s just art made by someone who loves Christ. I think that’s a really simple way to look at it.”
“I’ve always seen creative expression as one of the greatest gifts God has given us as human beings; we have this ability to express ourselves that is purely from God,” said Grace, a sophomore at Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA). “There’s no real separation there, to be an artist, to be a Christian, to be a follower of God — it’s all a form of worship and connection with him on a really deep spiritual level. Even if you don’t make explicitly “Christian art,” being a Christian means that your values and your beliefs will come out in what you produce.”
See Grace’s video where she shares her thoughts on art as a form of worship:
Worshipping God as an art student from StudentSoul on Vimeo.

Stephanie, a senior at MICA, believes that being a Christian artist is a way she can bring hope to people in the fine arts community. “I think that the fine arts world is often an unhappy place and the joy that I have as a Christian comes through my art. I choose to be an artist because the arts don’t give answers; they pose questions — and that’s the most effective way to do ministry,” Stephanie said. “People don’t want to be told what is right; they want to come to it on their own. I think the Holy Spirit uses the arts to do that.”

What difficulties do you face as a Christian artist on your campus?
“The hardest thing to overcome as a Christian in an arts school is the preconceived idea of what a Christian is,” said Stephanie. “When people find out I’m a Christian, they say “I’ve never met a Christian who accepts me.” I think that just meeting people where they are is the most important challenge that we as Christians have to take on.”
“Because my campus is, in some respects, hostile towards Christianity, it is difficult to practice an art form that you know is God-given in an environment where people don’t see it that way. Christianity is so steeped in the history of art that it’s hard to be in an artistic setting and not talk about Christianity. It is fertile ground for discussing questions people have about the history of the church,” said Grace. “What’s important for me now is to display my faith through my actions and my art for people on my campus who aren’t receptive to my words.”

What impact did SALT have on you personally?
“I’ve been learning just how intricately the artistic side of me connects with my faith and how to express what I know about God and how I feel about God through my art,” said Meg. “I have this really strong sense of possibility and calling on my life. I’m excited about stepping into that and living it out. I feel released and free, as if God is saying, Don’t be afraid or hesitant; just jump into it and see what I’ll do.

“SALT reaffirmed in me the fact that I am a leader in the arts. It sparked a fire in me to share everything I’ve learned, like a reinvigorated commission” said Stephanie. “Through this conference, I sense God telling me that this is what he wants me to do and what he’s enabled me to do, so I must go do it. I think that the message of Christ’s love communicated through the beauty of the arts is something that I am able to take into the world now.”
Dick Ryan, InterVarsity’s Director of Arts Ministries, summarized the SALT conference by saying, “We’re trying to create a way for people to become high-quality, productive artists and, at the same time, to become high-quality, productive Christians. This happens in an authentic community with others where there is a safe place for honest discussions about life, God, and the arts. This is what we want our students to be doing when they go back to their campuses.”
—by Angela Schram

From Faith to Faith

by Daniel Kirk

What makes us Christians? What defines us as a people?
“I believe in God the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ his only begotten son, our Lord…”

That’s one way of doing it. We are articulate what we believe. In an upward gesture, we define ourselves by a common set of postures toward God, Jesus, and Spirit.
What makes us who we are, what saves us, is our faith.

But, as I’ve argued here before, we need to be careful how we identify ourselves. We need to exercise care because how we define who we are will determine what we think faithful action looks like.

Ethics and identity are inseparable.

I’ve been arguing for some time that we need to reconstrue our identity and our ethics in narrative terms. We need to loosen our grip on statements of faith, and move toward more fully living into the story of the narrative of the faithful Christ.
It strikes me that what I’m arguing for is a wholesale transformation of our way of understanding Christian faith that corresponds to a shift in the way many Paul scholars are reading the phrase, “the faith of Christ” (πίστις χριστοῦ).

This phrase can be read one of two ways.

1. Christ can be seen as the object of faith (thus the phrase “objective genitive” as the Greek construction). This would mean, “[our] faith in Christ.”
2. Christ can be seen as the subject of faith (thus the phrase “subjective genitive” as the Greek construction). This would mean, “Christ’s faithfulness.”

At bottom, what is Paul after? By what are we justified in the sight of God? Is it our faith in Jesus? Or is it Jesus’ faithfulness in going to death on the cross?
The idea that we’re justified by our own faith in Christ is part of a larger way of construing Christian identity in terms of believing the right things about God.
When Richard Hays renewed the argument for the subjective genitive (“Christ’s faithfulness”) reading of Paul, the subtitle of his work was this: “The narrative substructure of Galatians 3:1-4:11.”

The point is not simply that we translate a phrase in one particular way. The larger point is that this translation reflects a deeper structure in Pauline theology.
Paul is a narrative theologian. He tells the saving story of Jesus. And he invites his congregations into it.

It might be that Hays was onto something even larger than his own initial project caught sight of (or, at least, articulated): by decentering our faithful response, the faithfulness of God in Christ can return to center stage. We can being to creatively reimagine what it means to be the faithful people of God, not as those who believe a certain list in a shared statement of belief, but those who are active participants in the saving story of the crucified Christ.

Not only might we make room for a storied theology, we might make room for a storied identity that gives rise to a faithful, storied ethic.

Evangelism VS Social Concern ??

Black Evangelicals, White Evangelicals, and Franklin Graham's Repentance

When Franklin Graham expressed doubts about President Obama’s Christian faith during an interview on Morning Joe last week, it reminded me of an uncomfortable dinner I had in the late ‘90s.

I sat down for a pleasant meal in the home of two great friends — one of them a white evangelical faith leader deeply committed to social justice. Well into the evening’s conversation — when we’d dropped all our pretenses and our exchanges moved well past mealtime niceties — one friend asked me something that caught me entirely off guard.
“Do you think Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Christian?” he said.
I was dumbstruck. I had never heard anyone actually ask that question before.
“Yes,” I replied. “What would make you doubt that?”
As he explained, it became clear: My friend wasn’t sure whether Dr. King was a Christian because King’s Christianity didn’t look like my friend’s Christianity.
Dr. King valued justice. My friend valued justice.

King professed personal faith in Jesus. My friend professed personal faith in Jesus.
And yet my friend still was hung up about King’s faith because, to his eye, King didn’t seem interested in “evangelism” as my friend defined it — i.e. the practice of calling sinners into personal relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ, whose death on the cross is payment for our sins.

Twentieth-century white evangelical understanding of the Gospel guided (and in many ways defined) my friend’s Christian walk. Therein lies the disconnect between his Christian faith and Dr. King’s.
According to sociologists Michael Emerson and Christian Smith (authors of Divided by Faith: Evangelical Religion and the Problem of Race in America), only one thing separates white and black evangelicals, but it makes all the difference in the world: Vastly different experiences of structural and systemic oppression.

Black evangelicals have a long history of interaction with oppressive systems and structures. When African Americans read the Bible, they see the more than 2,000 passages of scripture about God’s hatred for poverty and oppression. They see God’s desire for systems and structures to be blessings to all of humanity — not a curse to some and a blessing for others.
And they see Jesus’ own declaration that he had come to preach good news to the poor, which, by the way, is decidedly not a reference to the “spiritually impoverished.” Jesus meant that he had come to preach good news (of liberation, freedom, and new life) to people trapped in material poverty.

White evangelicals generally do not experience such systemic oppression. According to Emerson and Smith, most white evangelicals don’t prioritize or even see the thousands of references in the Hebrew Scriptures and New Testament about structural and systemic injustice.

Accordingly, the Gospel — and by extension their evangelism — is about only one thing: Personal salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, who died for their sins, and a personal relationship with him.
Black evangelicals also have personal faith that Jesus’ death paid for their sins, but their Gospel doesn’t end with personal (and individual) salvation. For Dr. King and Sojourner Truth and Fannie Lou Hamer and the Rev. John Perkins and Nelson Mandela and for hundreds of thousands of Black Christians around the world and for me, the good news of the Gospel is that Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection were for the redemption of both individual souls and the redemption of whole societies.

Franklin Graham’s father, Dr. Billy Graham, didn’t always understand this, either. The elder Graham’s revivals began as segregated affairs, but the Supreme Court’s desegregation ruling in Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka (1954) agitated his conscience and he quickly course corrected. From that point on, Billy Graham never again held a segregated revival.

What’s more, in 1957 Dr. Graham invited Dr. King, to share his pulpit for a 16-week revival in New York City.
For Billy Graham, Martin King was a Christian.
In the last decade or so, a new generation of white evangelicals — such as my friends Shane Claiborne, Kelly Moltzen, Josh Harper, and others — have intentionally displaced themselves, moving into impoverished communities of color in order to gain the experience their parents and grandparents lacked. As a result, their white evangelical eyes are open.
They see those 2,000 scriptures about poverty and injustice. And this new generation of white evangelicals is committed to fight systemic and structural justice because of the Gospel.

So, it grieved me to hear Franklin Graham’s doubt-filled commentary on President Obama’s faith.
Obama has described in his own words (and quite publicly) how he has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, how as a young community organizer in Chicago in the late ‘80s he walked down the aisle of a church during an altar call to make a public profession of that faith — a practice developed by one of the greatest American evangelists of all time, Charles Finney.

The president has clearly professed his belief that Jesus died on the cross as payment for his sins. And Obama repeatedly invokes the words of Jesus that guide his world view: “Just as you did to the least of these, you did to me.” (Matthew 25:40)
For a moment, Franklin Graham’s cynicism tested my own faith. I wondered if he had any idea that, when he questioned the president’s faith, it felt as if he were questioning my faith.

I wanted to know if the transformational power of Jesus’ death and resurrection, which is powerful enough to save our souls also could open Franklin’s eyes and soften his heart to the world and experience of his black brothers and sisters.
Repentance is sweet, not only for the sinner, but also for the world. It reminds us all of what is right; what is good; what is true. Franklin Graham apologized for his comments and repented this week.
This public discussion is now a lesson for us all. I have an abiding hope that, just maybe, the power of Jesus’ resurrection is powerful enough even to save the church.

Written by Lisa Sharon Harper is the Director of Mobilizing at Sojourners. She is also co-author of Left, Right and Christ: Evangelical Faith in Politics and author of Evangelical Does Not Equal Republican ... or Democrat.